I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
