I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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