i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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