If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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