It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
