hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's never too late to be topless.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My life is pants optional.
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