This is not my ceiling
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
