there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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