I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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