I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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