Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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