my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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