I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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