Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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