All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
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It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize