I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
