Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
