i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
