Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
