I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
