The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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