i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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