im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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