Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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