i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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