lets start a swedish sibling band together
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
