She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
