Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize