Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
