The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
