she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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