Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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