My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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