so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
