hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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