Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
