Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
