I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
