There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
