uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
