And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i think my cat just said my name.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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