i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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