And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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