its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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