And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
