if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
