I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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