I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize