i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
thus making me awesome and them whores
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
