Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
