do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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