What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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