So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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