I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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