Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
