Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
