return my video game
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
