So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
