No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
