kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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