the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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