I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Girls should come with a carfax report
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
