it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
