My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Shame is for Republicans.
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